All Posts By

Stephanie Carter

When Mother’s Day isn’t Happy

| April 27, 2017

Let’s talk about Mother’s Day… If you are a woman you may or may not love this day. But, we probably all have some childhood memories of this day when we celebrated our own mothers or mom-figures.

Mother’s Day is a great day to honor your mom or the mom of your life. But that doesn’t mean it’s always happy.

When Mother’s Day is Hard

My biological mother passed away in August of 1990. I was deeply hurt by her leaving me for Heaven. We were just coming into an adult mother/daughter relationship. I remember feeling that time stood still for me when she died. My heart felt broken in a million pieces for a lot of reasons.

I was left in a family with a father that I felt didn’t love me and only one sister. Our relationship was strained. I had no family. I felt alone.

The first Mother’s Day was so hard.

I’m sure many of you have been there at Mother’s Day. Some of you reading this have lost a mom, too. Some of you have been a mom and lost a child. A pain I never wish to bear. My heart goes out to you.

Some of you hold pain for different reasons. You are a mom and your children are estranged from you. Or, you are a woman that had an abortion and Mother’s Day is a reminder of what you lost and can never have. Maybe you long for a child, but either can’t conceive or carry to term.

Life without a Mom

I was asked to write this article to talk candidly about Mother’s Day and at first it was hard. Why?  Because, we all like things nice and neat and wrapped up pretty with a bow. For some, there is no bow. No wrap. No nice. But I didn’t want to damper the holiday for anyone. I just wanted to be there for the others of us that struggle through Mother’s Day.

Since my mom died before I got married and had my own kids, I was afraid to be a mom. I wondered how I would even know what to do with my own kids. Who would I ask things, get advice, talk over stuff, babysit my kids and more.

I finally did get married alone, no mom. Then I had kids, no mom. It was so hard at times to figure things out but God really helped me. As time went on, I actually became a great mom (I am my own cheerleader). I love my sons, who are a great joy to my life.  I learned to become a mom and God taught me things my mom would have taught me had she been alive.

New Mother’s Day Memories

When Mother’s Day came, I had my own children and the day was not so hard to get through. My kids made it special for me. Mother’s Day took on a different meaning for me. I had to learn to have new memories. To look at each year as the gift I was given. I was with my children and they were creating memories for themselves. I got to keep my memories of my mom and my children and move on. Thanking God for the gift of both memories was special to my heart.

Did Mother’s Day get better? Yes! So did my perspective of the honored holiday. I hope it is a great day for you as well.

No matter what you have gone through or are going through this Mother’s Day, let the love of your mother, your children, and others honor you. We may never get back what we had but that is okay. New memories can be great memories, too.

Where’s Your Heart This Mother’s Day?

Where is your heart set this Mother’s Day? Are you preparing for a happy one, or hurting deep inside? Do you have a favorite Mother’s Day memory or a strong memory of a painful one? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.


Mother’s Day Link UpA special Mother's Day link up

Have you written a blog post about your mom or being a mom? It could be encouraging, funny, heartfelt, or thoughtful. We’d love to have you share it with us to help celebrate Mother’s Day.

Link up rules:

  • Leave 1-2 links to blog posts about moms
  • Insert the name of the post in the name feild so we know what it’s about
  • Visit at least two links for every link you leave
  • Be sure to comment on this post below

Link up closes May 24th.

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