The Colgate Pump saved my marriage.
When we married and our tubes became one, our union was destined for disaster.
The problem? Toothpaste.
I squeezed the tube in the middle (or at the end or wherever I picked it up). He, on the other hand, preferred we squeezed the tube starting at the very end so we could neatly roll up the empty portion of the tube as we used it.
He wanted our newly established family toothpaste tube to be smoooooth and uniform until the toothpaste was gone.
The way I saw it: Toothpaste comes out no matter where you squeeze the tube.