“Just keep going” is the phrase that I keep repeating to myself. You see, right now, all I want to do is give up. I am tempted to throw in the towel on my dreams and settle for something mundane. I want to pack up my belongings, move somewhere else, and reinvent myself because things are hard right now. Almost nothing right now is easy and it feels like I’m fighting an uphill battle.
But instead of turning around and retreating, I’m choosing to dig deeper.
Deeper with God
Lately, I haven’t been feeling as close to the Lord because I’ve allowed myself to become distracted. It’s in the little things like missing a church service, skipping reading my Bible, watching another episode, and focusing more on work than the more important matters. But He’s been so sweetly beckoning me back to Himself. And cutting out distractions and running to Him is like returning home after you’ve been away for a while.
But there’s always a moment of hesitancy before coming back. Questions of worthiness and the voices of guilt and shame whisper loudly in my ears. I wonder if He’ll want to take me back again, which is ridiculous because He always does, but that doesn’t stop me from listening to the lies for just a moment. Then I remember Truth:
“For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.” Romans 5:10 (ESV)
If you’ve turned away from God, moved back to the shallows, or sprinted away from Him, I encourage you to take a step toward Him today.
If you’ve turned away from God, moved back to the shallows, or sprinted away from Him, take a step toward Him today.
Deeper with Dreams
Currently, I’m writing a devotional but it’s not going as I expected it to. In fact, I’ve never struggled this much when writing a devotional. My last two were written with relative ease and I felt fairly confident in my abilities and the message I was sharing. I knew this was what I was supposed to do and I did it joyfully (for the most part).
But this time is harder. I already gave up on this devotional once because I knew it would be difficult. I tried to write one on a different subject but I felt God redirect me back to this one. Protesting, I stamped my little feet. I argued with God, saying that my idea was better (oh foolish pride of mine), but eventually I submitted. And, even though I feel like this is what I’m supposed to be writing, it’s still hard.
The truth is that pursuing our dreams isn’t always easy. It’s actually really hard a lot of the time, but I think that’s by design. The pursuit of dreams, the hard work, and the persistence in the face of adversity can develop important parts of our character. Who knows, maybe the hard thing you’re working on now will be the thing that sets you up for success in the future.
Is there a dream that you gave up on too soon because it was too hard? It might be time to try again.
Deeper with Others
I’m the furthest thing from an open book that you can probably find. I struggle to let people in and have some major trust issues that the Lord is currently healing me of. Because of past hurts, I struggle to open up with others and when it gets to a certain point, I get scared and I’ll pull out. I have repeated this cycle for pretty much my entire life and, even though I’m aware of it now, I’ve found myself falling into the same unhealthy isolation I know all too well.
In recent weeks, I’ve found myself pulling away from the people who I trust the most. Cue the red flags popping up in my mind. Any time I pull away from others, it’s always a clear indication that there’s something rumbling in my heart that needs to be addressed.
The truth is, community has a way of revealing things in our hearts that we can justify away when we’re by ourselves. It’s my community who will courageously call me out when I’m acting less than who I truly am in Christ. They’re the ones who will redirect me when I’m acting like a spiritual orphan instead of a daughter of the King.
Have you found yourself isolating from community? If so, I encourage you to reach out to just one trusted person today—call them, set up a coffee date, invite them over—and let them back in.
The phrase that I’ve been telling myself recently I’m going to share with you: Just keep going. Keep going deeper with God, with your dreams, and with others. It can be scary, hard, and uncomfortable, but going deep can be the most life-giving and rewarding thing we can do for ourselves and others. Today, take one small step in each of these areas and see what happens!
Can you relate what I’ve shared in this post? Join the conversation in the comments below.
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