To The Worn Out Momma: Mom Guilt & Jesus

| July 12, 2018
Mom Guilt and Jesus

I am exhausted

I am exhausted.

It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get, it seems like I’m always tired.

I’m sure it has something to do with being a mom.

It’s summer time, so my kids are home all day and they have endless amounts of energy. And somehow, they can make even the most relaxing activities into contact sports.

  • Listening to music? Dance marathon.
  • Watching TV? Jump rope, balance on a ball, or something extra creative, but as equally energetic.
  • Playing video games? Hop around and give an extra loud and dramatic commentary.

Oh and don’t forget to add in the, “Hey mom, watch this!” comments that are sure to be inserted randomly, but frequently throughout any activity.

Queue The Mom Guilt

It’s not that I don’t love my kids. I do. And I am so blessed to be able to stay home with them, but that doesn’t make it any less exhausting.

And being exhausted can make me feel like a bad mom.

Trying to accomplish something for the day and not wanting to be interrupted one. More. Time. Can make me feel ashamed.

Let’s just say I am no stranger to mom guilt. But I am also no stranger to Jesus, and I know that He doesn’t think any less of me for being worn out and at the end of my rope.

Because there is no condemnation for those of us who are in Jesus.

Jesus came because He knew we would need Him.

And while Jesus came and died one time, for all time, we need Him every day. I need Him every day.

Because of Jesus

I need to be reminded that because of Jesus, it’s okay to admit that I’m not the perfect mom.

To The Worn Out Momma: You Can Rest In God's GraceIn fact, my kids don’t need me to be the perfect mom (which is good because “the perfect mom” is a myth). What my kids need is a mom who loves them and who isn’t afraid to point them to Jesus. And even with that, I can trust that their salvation ultimately isn’t up to me.

I can rest in the knowledge that God is in control. He is in control whether I am playing board games, swimming in the pool, talking about Jesus, or taking a nap. He is in control when I am calm and collected, and He is in control when I am jumpy and grumpy.

One thing Jesus has been teaching me this summer is that my mood swings say more about my relationship with Jesus than they do about my parenting.

Keeping It All In Perspective

Satan would love to use my failures to make me question my worth as a mom, but Jesus says my failures should be arrows pointing me back to Him. My insecurities are a sign of a spiritual struggle, not a lack of worth. Because my worth is secure. My value is assigned by my Creator, not by my mom skills.

When I am tired and grouchy, Jesus calls me to rest in His love. To repent from a sinful attitude if I have one, but also to live unashamed.

Moms, it’s okay to be tired.

When my kids stress me out because they have been running on high all day, it’s okay to need a break. It’s okay to long for a few moments alone.

It’s okay to be the woman I was created to be, even when that woman needs five minutes of peace and quiet or ends up with a headache at the end of the day.

My worth doesn’t change when my kids are rowdy and rambunctious. It is unaffected by my temper. Regardless of how my day goes, I can stand tall as a child of God.

My righteousness comes from Christ alone, and my standing before my Savior doesn’t depend on me, because I have been washed in the blood of Christ.

Your Turn

What area of your life do you feel the most guilty about? Do you ever just slow down and take a moment to remember the gospel?

Candid ConversationsIf you liked this blog post, keep your eyes open for Heather’s upcoming book, Candid Conversations, where she has partnered with 25 other Christian women. While each story shares a unique perspective, the prevailing theme is that we all struggle, but there is hope to be found in Jesus. Coming August 13th, 2018. Kindle edition now available for pre-order.

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32 Comments

  • Reply Rebecca Jones July 12, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    It happens to everyone, learning to rest in Him and teaching children to is important.

  • Reply Alice Mills July 13, 2018 at 4:02 pm

    I so remember those days. Kids wear us out emotionally, mentally, and physically! Some days I look at moms shopping with their kids and am so grateful to be an empty-nester! But then I miss those days too.

  • Reply Rachel Mayew July 13, 2018 at 5:06 pm

    I needed this today! I’m not ready for school to start again in a month. At least that’s what I say. I don’t want to rush the days, but I’m struggling to be every woman! Of course, I know I’m not alone in that feeling, but it’s good to read your take and have Jesus sewn into the fabric. Love and appreciate this so much!
    Rachel Mayew recently posted…This Sugar Detox Starter Plan is all you need to quit sugar!My Profile

    • Reply Heather Hart July 16, 2018 at 6:53 am

      I can’t believe the summer is half over! The summer days really are some of my favorites, even if they are chaotic and stressful. But you’re right, Jesus makes all the difference.
      Heather Hart recently posted…Summer Stress (& finding room to breathe)My Profile

  • Reply Donna Reidland July 13, 2018 at 6:11 pm

    I love this statement, Heather, “Satan would love to use my failures to make me question my worth as a mom, but Jesus says my failures should be arrows pointing me back to Him.” As a mom with grown children, I can tell you that Satan still likes to point out my failures and tempt me with guilt. But the answer is still the same, run to the cross!
    Donna Reidland recently posted…“What Loss of Respect Has Cost Our Children” July 13My Profile

  • Reply Maree Dee July 14, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    Well said, Heather! I spent so many years trying to be the perfect Mom. It was exhausting! Plus I never got any closer to perfection, in fact, I think it went the other way. You are so right they don’t need a perfect mom they need you, a mom who loves the Lord.

    Thank you for sharing with Grace & Truth Christian Link-Up.
    Maree Dee recently posted…Are You Sure You’re Going to Heaven? – Grace & Truth Christian Link-UpMy Profile

  • Reply Nancy E. Head July 16, 2018 at 9:00 am

    I reached a point when my kids were grown when I realized for how long I had felt so tired. It was Christmas Day, and I was not exhausted. The guilt, however, is something that I continue to deal with–new or old guilt, it’s all there. God bless!

    • Reply Heather Hart July 16, 2018 at 12:44 pm

      I think Satan will always try to guilt us out of enjoying our God given blessings. But there is no condemnation for those of us who know Jesus, because we know He took it all upon the Cross.
      Heather Hart recently posted…Back to the Beginning with JesusMy Profile

  • Reply Melissa Henderson July 16, 2018 at 9:25 am

    This is a message full of blessings. Yes, let’s remember we are not perfect. There are times we need help and it’s okay to ask for help. God loves us and He will provide the needed rest.
    Melissa Henderson recently posted…Sweating or “glistening”…My Profile

  • Reply Heather July 16, 2018 at 9:32 am

    I can totally relate to this. With two children, a work from home job, doing ministry in our church, and family and friends- there’s barely enough time to do anything. I have to remind myself often that it’s ok that I have to run the washer because I forgot there were clothes in there… again. It’s not the end of the world haha As long as my relationships with Christ is first, everything else will be lined up.

  • Reply Yvonne Morgan July 16, 2018 at 11:13 am

    I am now a grandmother but recently remembered those days as I babysat for my 3 and 1 years old granddaughters. I felt exhausted by the end of the evening. I guess I feel the most guilt nowadays about the things I did not do to help others because I was too tired or too busy. When the guilt keeps me up at night, that is when I remember to give it to God.

    • Reply Heather Hart July 16, 2018 at 12:48 pm

      I’ll be honest, when the guilt keeps me up at night is when Satan is working the hardest to keep me from giving it to God. We go round and round in circles on sleepless nights. Circles of prayer and guilt. That could probably be its own blog post…
      Heather Hart recently posted…Seasons May Change But These Two Things Stay The SameMy Profile

  • Reply Alynda Long July 16, 2018 at 11:24 am

    This is so good! I could have written it (and I have written on this topic…one is publishing this week. lol) It’s so encouraging to have other moms share their struggles in an authentic way, so we don’t feel isolated and alone. My struggle lately has been trying to “balance” being a stay at home mom to two amazing and exhausting girls, writing a book, running a website, and finding matching socks while not giving them cereal for dinner every single night.

    • Reply Heather Hart July 16, 2018 at 12:51 pm

      ha ha – yes! It’s so encouraging to know we aren’t alone in our struggles. That it’s okay to be less than perfect and that we aren’t the only Christian mom who struggles with meal plans. I mean – peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are pretty much a given weekday lunch at my house when my husband is at work… because kids, and writing, and websites, and stuff. I get you girl.
      Heather Hart recently posted…Summer Stress (& finding room to breathe)My Profile

  • Reply Marcie Cramsey July 16, 2018 at 11:33 am

    Heather, this is beautiful. I am passed the child-rearing age, as my children are grown, but nonetheless, they are very much still in my life. They have a great deal of energy still, mine seems to be waning against my wishes. However, you make a good point: “One thing Jesus has been teaching me this summer is that my mood swings say more about my relationship with Jesus than they do about my parenting.” I absolutely love what God is teaching you as He teaches me the same. My relationship makes a whole lot of difference in how I relate to my kids, husband, and others in my life. When I’m good with Him, it seems to make me better with others. By the way, being a tired mom is a badge of honor – it means you are involved in your kids’ life, not just watching them on the sidelines. 🙂 Great job! 🙂

  • Reply Lisa R. Howeler July 16, 2018 at 12:05 pm

    Needing at least an hour of time to myself is something I really struggle with my kids being home all the time, especially now that I am planning to homeschool our son this upcoming year. And yes, I also struggle with the guilt. Big time. Especially as soon as I hear about a mother who wants to stay home, but can’t or a child who is sick. I try to remind myself I don’t have to be perfect, but I agree it is very hard.

    • Reply Heather Hart July 16, 2018 at 12:55 pm

      I used to be really intimidated by moms who didn’t get moms who were different. There is a local mom who doesn’t understand how moms can need time away from their kids and that used to make me feel guilty, but then I just realized we were built different, and that’s okay. God made her the mom her kids needed, and He made me the mom my kids need. Different is okay. In fact it’s biblical (1 Corinthians 12).
      Heather Hart recently posted…Summer Stress (& finding room to breathe)My Profile

  • Reply Edna Davidsen July 17, 2018 at 6:02 am

    Dear Heather!

    Yes, it requires a lot of energy to be a mum. This is a time where it’s difficult to work for hours without being interrupted as you say. It’s great to be reminded of how Jesus does not think less of us even in times when we feel guilty.

    One of my favourite part of this blog post was the idea that the perfect mother is a myth. It sounds like you have some great kids there, Heather 🙂

    You asked what areas of life we feel the most guilty about?

    That’s a tough one; I hope I’m there for my family because I know I work a lot.

    Blessings!
    Edna Davidsen

  • Reply Emily July 17, 2018 at 8:49 am

    Love the reminder that because of Jesus it’s OK to admit we’re not perfect! And to put things in perspective. It seems easy to read and hard to do, but I so appreciate the wisdom here!
    Emily recently posted…Letter from the Editor: What a week of planning taught meMy Profile

  • Reply Liz July 17, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    Love this! I love me kid but there are days I wish I could take a day off from being a mom. Thank you for a honest post I can relate to.
    Liz recently posted…Messy GraceMy Profile

    • Reply Heather Hart July 19, 2018 at 11:39 am

      I can totally relate. We actually just dropped our kids off to spend a week and a half with their grandparents. I’ve been looking forward to having a quiet house for weeks, but I missed them like crazy before we even made it back home.
      Heather Hart recently posted…Seasons May Change But These Two Things Stay The SameMy Profile

  • Reply Karen Friday July 17, 2018 at 8:06 pm

    Love how you’re always so real and vulnerable, Heather. And it’s true if we remember to keep it in perspective with Jesus. I love this tweet, “I am no stranger to mom guilt. But I am also no stranger to Jesus…”

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