My Life Is A Story Of His Unending Love

| April 30, 2018
My Life is God's Story

I tried to write this post twice. I had half of both posts written, and both times my computer shut down and I lost what I had written. Key phrase, I had written. I wrote Heather saying that I wasn’t going to get this post submitted when I was hoping. It was writing that email when I realized that maybe God had other plans, and that maybe I had to figuratively “erase” what I wanted to write.

Let me rewind, and tell you my story, that is really His story still being written. I grew up attending a small church. When I was old enough, I went through confirmation class and made a statement of faith. However, it wasn’t until a few years later that I began to understand more about Jesus and actually have the desire to follow Him.  In my last two years of high school I spent a lot of time in my journal, just writing to God. I remember beautiful moments where I clung to who He was.

My story was secure. I was letting Him write the story of my life, and I knew the end. That is until I took the pen out of His hand and began writing my own life story. These chapters were filled with me not really caring about the God I had followed. There were many good things that came out of these chapters, but these pages hold many regrets and painful memories.

Beauty In The Broken

There is the page on the day when everything I had hoped was contorted, and the page when I lived in California and I was lying in bed literally not knowing who I was. And then the page after a break up when I laid down on the concrete in my apartments parking lot and cried my eyes out because of the heartbreak. Pages filled with broken hope, shattered hearts, a distorted view of love, but beauty.

Did I say beauty, in my broken life? Yes. There were many moments when I felt God was calling me to come back to Him. I remember one time when I left a church service on Easter and I could barely stand because He had rocked me to the deepest part of my soul. I remember bracing myself on the railing as I walked down the stairs leaving the church.

Still, I kept holding tightly to my pen.

The beauty in the pages that were filled with brokenness also included something else. The truth of a God who was relentless in His love for me. The truth that Jesus died on a cross, and abandoned the grave. This truth always carried the hope that death couldn’t hold the power of His endless love.

My Life Story Is Penned By Jesus

Once I came back to my faith, after seven years, it was like God erased what I had planned for my future. Although if I am honest, I am not sure I had much of a plan.  But just like the scars of Jesus, the chapters that I wrote never went away, but the new pages were there for Him to write the rest of my story.

God's plans are better than our plans...

There are times when I still want to hold tight to my pen. Kind of like when I read a good book, I want to know what the next chapter holds, and want to read through the book as fast as I can! I want to know that the ending is good.

But then I had to step back and remember that His ways are better than my ways. His story is better than anything I could ever dream of imagine… even with all of the unimaginable plot twists! The plot twists that leave you thinking, Did that really just happen?

God-Given Dreams

The other day I was sitting with the girl I mentor, and she was telling me about her God-given dreams. They were so specific. As I was listening, I got a bit sad because I felt like I don’t have a God given dream like she has.

And again, if I am honest, the idea of having hopes and dreams can scare me. Because how many times have my dreams not worked out as I had planned? I have been left in tears of disappointment when my plans, again my plans, have perceivably failed.

“Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.” ~ Psalm 126: 5-6 (NLT)

I look back on those tears of disappointment now and can only imagine that He was saying over me, If you only knew what I had planned you would have been rejoicing that your plans didn’t work out. And I can only think back in thankfulness because the path that He had before me has been so much more than I could have hoped or asked for.

3 Prayer Journaling Questions

If we are honest, it is easy to want to be the author and write the next chapter of our life. It is easy to have hopes and dreams of our own. But I want my plan for my life to line up with His will for my life. I want my dreams to only be the ones that He has placed in my heart.

Like some of you can relate, it can be scary to dream because of the fear of disappointment. But I want you to do something with me. Open up a page in your journal and ask God the following questions.

  1. What dreams do I need to lay down that are of my desires?
  2. Do I need to let go of anything that is hindering the plan You have for my life?
  3. What are Your dreams for my life?

His plans for your life are good. It is His promise, because He is good.

Join The Conversation

We would love to pray for you. Would you be willing to share with us what God has asked you to lay down so that you can walk in the path that He has before you?


Books For Related Reading

                                       
(Reminder: We use Amazon affiliate links)

You Might Also Like

10 Comments

  • Reply Susan Evans April 30, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    It’s when God shatters our wrong desires that we finally come to terms with true relationship with Him. Suffering and brokenness cause us to receive the presence of God when nothing else will, and we end up with more of God and a better life.
    Susan Evans recently posted…A Great Day to be AliveMy Profile

  • Reply Julie April 30, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    Loved the honesty here!
    I had dreams too that haven’t come to fruition, but God is showing me His ways are better! It’s been hard giving them up, but I’ve settled myself in the fact He has greater things planned for me then I could ever imagine!

  • Reply Melissa April 30, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    Yes! I had all of these grand dreams and plans but God is telling me ‘No’ and that there are other things for me to be focusing on right now. While it can be hard to put dreams on a shelf, knowing that I am following God’s plans for me are all that really matters.
    Melissa recently posted…The Armor of God: The Boots of PeaceMy Profile

  • Reply Alice Mills April 30, 2018 at 7:34 pm

    I have had to lay down my dreams too. He is gradually restoring them to me, but learning to trust Him is a lesson that seems to come first.

  • Reply Amy Hagerup April 30, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    I am so glad that God is the Author of my life. Thanks for sharing so deeply. He is beautiful in you.
    Amy Hagerup recently posted…What are you running towards in your Christian Life?My Profile

  • Reply Kaalu May 20, 2018 at 4:03 am

    God him self is love, that is why we should love our nebourghs like our selfs

  • Candidly Christian is designed to be a safe place to where Christian women can get candid. We won’t be publishing any harsh comments directed at other commenters or our bloggers. We retain the right to moderate our comments as we see fit. By submitting a comment below, you hereby grant us the irrevocable, non-exclusive right to edit, delete, copy, adapt, modify, publish, broadcast, and/or distribute the submitted content on this website and/or other material created by us.

    Remember: From our side of the computer screen, we can’t see your tears. We can’t see your beautiful smile. We can’t hear the emotion behind your words or the tone of your voice. All we get are your words. Write them with love.

    Leave a Reply

    CommentLuv badge

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    Read previous post:
    How To Count Your Blessings When Things Go Wrong
    How To Count Your Blessings When Things Go Wrong

    My daughter has a concussion. She was helping pick up balls at her sister’s softball practice on Monday when her...

    Close