Okay. I need to talk about a subject that most of you, with children are probably familiar with. Relationships with your adult children.
Let’s get really real for a moment.
I don’t know about you but I struggle with living with my adult children. When they were smaller it seemed a lot easier.
I am struggling with how to have relationships with them.
How to talk to them.
Where the boundaries are.
What things are reasonable to say and which are not.
How far is too far.
How much advice is too much advice.
How much of anything is enough and or not enough.
And, just what do I do about all the comments everyone else makes about me and my adult children.
There is more, but I’m sure you get the point so far.
I have two wonderful sons. Let me just say that off the bat. They are great. They are 23 and 17 years old and are the best sons a mother could have. So, what is the problem?
The problem is we all are adults living in the same house and they are not fully ready to leave emotionally and financially but getting there and we still deal with father or lack of a father issues.
Frankly, I feel I am navigating in waters I never been in and it’s scary.
Talking To Adult Children
How do you really talk to an adult son who is independent and living with you but not on his own and a 17 year old who thinks he’s on is own but he is not.
These lines are very blurred. I have people giving me all kinds of advice and honestly, the advice is not helpful.
I get advice from “put them out” to “let them stay and pay rent and go and come.” It’s so confusing.
I’ve been a single mom for nearly 9 years with my sons. What most people giving the advice don’t seem to understand is that this is really a hard job. I see them growing up and I want them to grow up but yet they’re not navigating things as well as they could. You see your kid sort of making decisions that the culture makes. You see them sort of wandering in their decisions and the lines are blurred for them. So, what do you do?
3 (Good) Parenting Tips For Moms With Adult Children
1.) Trust in God
You trust God that you know your children. You pray and you trust God that He knows them better. You release your adult children to God and you let go. The stress is not worth it. If you raised them in God, then trust those years of teaching.
2.) Listen to Them
Listen to them more. Just listen. Only offer advice when they ask. Try not to be a busybody. Harder to do than saying it, I know. But, let them see you being a listening ear and trust that they will make the right decisions. They will come to you when they need to. Trust me. They will.
3.) Trust in Yourself
Trust yourself. How? Trust that you did all you could with your children and that they must now fly the coup and go out into the world and be productive person. Trust that you were a good parent and let go.
As moms and women, we go through different things. I know there is grace to get through this phase of life. Adult children are a blessing. Navigating this will have a silver lining as God is with us in all things.
Join the Conversation
Where are you at in your parenting journey? Do you have any advice to share, or have you ever gotten any advice that was bad or contradictory? Join the conversation in the comments below!
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