Dear Suicidal Me…

September 9, 2020 |
Dear Suicidal Me

Dear Suicidal Me, 

Hey there! It’s me—um, I mean you. I’m so glad you found this letter. I know you’re frazzled, so I’ll cut right to the chase. 

I know what you’ve been thinking. You wonder how cold the water would feel as it fills the car. Will it hurt as the water fills your lungs? Maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll hit your head on impact so you’ll never know what the bottom of the bay looks like. 

You’ve told no one, even to this day, but I still remember how tempted you are right now. Deep down, I know you don’t want to die. You just can’t live like this anymore.

You feel hopeless and worthless because you’re believing lies from the pit of hell. I get it – you feel like a disappointment. You think you are nothing but a liability. And that no one would even notice you’re gone. 

But you’re wrong.

There is a Light at the end of the tunnel. His name is Jesus.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. His name is Jesus. Click To Tweet

Life will always be hard. But I wrote this letter to give you the hope that can only be found in Jesus.

You think you wanna give up the fight and surrender your life, so I’m writing to tell that’s exactly what you need to do. 

Give up fighting for control. Surrender your life to the truth of God’s Word.

And here’s the Truth: You are more loved than you can ever imagine, and God has a good plan for you.  

God said you are His treasure. That’s why He chose you as His beloved child. So write it 1000 times and post it at your desk. Sing it with the radio at the top of your lungs until believe it.

God had a plan and then He made you perfectly to fulfill it. So ask Him about it and embrace it. Start putting one foot in front of the other. 

You’re right about one thing, though. You’re not strong enough to do life on your own, and you never will be. 

But Jesus is.

And He loves you so much that He gave His life to give you His grace and peace. His strength lives in you. So draw from it. Draw from Him. You’re never alone because Jesus is always with you and He goes before you. Just invite Him in.

Let Jesus fight for you. In His name, expose the Father of Lies for who he is. Read truth, speak Truth, listen to Truth until it becomes part of you. 

And even then, it’s still not over. The enemy won’t stop whispering lies in the darkness. The shadows disappear every time you turn on the Light by speaking Truth. 

Nothing lasts forever, so this pain will pass. Wait—strike that. There is one thing that lasts forever and will never change: Jesus.

I promise one day, you’ll look back, and today will be a memory. Oh, and you’ll have so many other memories. Wonderful memories of hugs, love, laughter, friendships, and family. And chocolate. We can’t forget about the chocolate! Trust Him and you’ll be amazed with what He does in you and through you!

So get out of the car, dust off your Bible, get on your knees, and rest in the embrace of your Father, the peace of your Comforter, and the strength of your Defender.

Do you feel worthless? Hopeless? Like there's nothing left to live for? This is for you. Click To Tweet

Suicide Awareness & Prevention

September is National Suicide Awareness & Prevention month, and this year it’s more important than ever. This is a letter I wrote to a younger version of myself that was struggling with suicidal thoughts years ago. More recently, our founder, Heather Hart, lost a dear friend to suicide. We want to make sure you know you can be a Christian woman and struggle with suicidal thoughts. Don’t feel like you have to hide them away. The best thing you can do is talk to someone.

Don’t let Satan convince you that you can handle this on your own. Don’t let him trick you into thinking you are less of a Christian because he has gotten a foothold. You are loved more than you could ever imagine, and God wants you to shine a light on Satan’s lies.

I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.

Jesus (John 8:12)
Are you struggling with suicidal thoughts? Valerie was...
Are you struggling with suicidal thoughts? Valerie was… Click To Tweet

Join the Conversation

Have you ever considered suicide or been touched by it? If there is any way we can help you, please let us know. You can join the conversation in the comments below, or contact us via email. Our information is on our contact page here.

Suicide Resources

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

1-800-784-2433
1-800-799-4889 (if you are hearing impaired)

  • Someone will do an assessment over the phone and listen to you
  • Remember, it’s free, confidential, and anonymous
  • You can call anytime day or night

You can also text NAMI to 741-741

Teen Suicide Help & Resources

Heather’s online ministry for teen girls has a section dedicated specifically for teen suicide help and resources.

Recommended Blog Posts

Hope for When You Feel Like Giving Up On Life by Heather Hart

I Was a Suicidal Christian by Karen Neumair

Christian Women & Anxiety by Sherry Chamblee

Our Comforter in Every Crisis by Valerie Riese

September is Suicide Awareness Month. This blog post goes beyond the statistics and offers hope. Click To Tweet

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14 Comments

  • Reply Nina Hundley September 9, 2020 at 9:48 am

    Such an awesome, helpful post! I pray this touches the lives of so many others.

    • Reply Valerie Riese September 9, 2020 at 11:37 am

      Thank you, Nina. I hope so too. I know He’ll use my words when and where He sees fit, even if I never hear about it.

  • Reply Sarah September 9, 2020 at 7:53 pm

    I’m glad to see the Christian blogging community embrace this month of awareness. Thank you for sharing and offering a safe space.
    Sarah recently posted…Experience Fellowship

    • Reply Valerie Riese September 10, 2020 at 11:07 am

      We really want women to know they’re not alone and it’s perfectly OK to reach out and ask for help. Thank you for your encouragement, Sarah. I really appreciate it.

  • Reply Heather Hart September 10, 2020 at 7:56 am

    Thanks for writing this post, Valerie. I remember sitting in Bible study one day when one of the women shared she thought about just driving off the side of the road (we lived in Colorado, so think mountain drop-offs). She was the mom I thought had it all together. It just showed me that we never know what other people are going through. But no one thought less of her for sharing that. I still remember her as an amazing mom. We prayed with her, and for her, and took it one day at a time.
    Heather Hart recently posted…Life’s Moments

    • Reply Valerie Riese September 10, 2020 at 11:15 am

      I’m really glad we could do this, Heather, and I’m grateful for your willingness to embrace it. There are women like your friend all over the world who would find unexpected support and love if they only could reach out. Hopefully even just one woman will reach out after reading this post.

  • Reply Kim Steadman September 11, 2020 at 9:41 am

    Thank you for opening your heart to share on this powerful subject. I hope they prove to give hope to a hurting heart.
    Kim Steadman recently posted…Choosing the right breastplate – the breastplate of righteousness

    • Reply Valerie Riese September 12, 2020 at 7:15 am

      Thanks, Kim! Me too. I trust that God will use this post to touch whomever and whenever He sees fit, even if I never know about it.

  • Reply Donna September 11, 2020 at 4:36 pm

    Thank you, Valerie for your vulnerability in sharing your “Dear Suicidal Me” letter. I was touched by your words and comfort of the scriptures. I’m so glad you are highlighting this important and often overlooked topic.
    Donna recently posted…A Walk Through Discouragement

    • Reply Valerie Riese September 12, 2020 at 7:21 am

      Thank you, Donna. My heart still races every time I share this, but I know God gave me the words for someone. I hope people continue sharing it so it to get the people who need it.

  • Reply Maree Dee September 13, 2020 at 12:39 pm

    Valerie, Thank you for sharing your heart. Suicide is a topic I am passionate about. I have experienced from all angles. Last week I wrote about how each of us can help prevent it. It is so important for everyone to be on the lookout for those who might be struggling with thought. I want them to reach out but many times they don’t. I am praying your post here reaches many people who are struggling. I pray they reach out. Maree
    Maree Dee recently posted…Are You Taking in All God Has to Offer? – Link-Up

    • Reply Valerie Riese September 16, 2020 at 7:30 am

      Thank you, Maree! I’m sorry to hear you’ve experienced this from all angles. But I’m also so thankful that you are using that experience and passion to help others. I also pray that people will know they’re not alone so they can reach out. And I pray that we will never weary of reaching out those who need that message of hope in Jesus. Hugs to you, my friend.

  • Reply Lisa notes September 15, 2020 at 10:37 am

    Thank you for sharing this letter and these resources, Valerie. Sometimes we don’t want to take it seriously when others or ourselves feel suicidal, until it’s too late. You’ve encouraged me today, when I’m feeling a bit down myself, to have hope.
    Lisa notes recently posted…Wherever Truth Comes From, Listen

    • Reply Valerie Riese September 16, 2020 at 7:27 am

      Hi Lisa! I’m so glad this encouraged you. Whether or not a person would really go through with it, the feelings are no less real and should always be taken seriously. We need to reach out for support when we get that low. Sometimes we need a reminder that there is always hope in Jesus. Thanks for visiting us and for your encouraging comments. Take care and know that you’re never alone 🙂

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