The conversation in my soul is ‘I wonder?’
Why this question?
Because, life is full of wonder? No. That is not the way I am using the word.
I’m using it more on the lines of wondering about the future, wondering about the life of my children, wondering about what will happen next week, next month, heck next year.
Okay you caught me. It’s really worry. Yes, worry. We all do it let’s be honest. As Christians we are not to worry. We are not to worry or wonder about our lives. God says so in His Word. Yet we do it all the time.What are you worrying about today? Be honest and join the conversation on #CandidlyChristian Click To Tweet
“Therefore, I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
“And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
“Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”Matthew 6:25-33 (KJV)
Talking with God
I sat in my office early one morning contemplating my next book to write and my mind went from one random thought to the next to worry to random thoughts that made no connection and I heard the voice of God say, “Why are you worrying?”
I said I wasn’t doing that, but I was thinking. How many of you know you can’t fool God? I was worrying. I was taking thoughts into my own head about my own life and wondering ‘worrying’ about what to do about situations that were mounting. Worrying about things I couldn’t change or control in that moment. Wondering if it all mattered to anyone or God.
Then I remembered. When God asks you a question it is not Him asking for an answer. No. He is asking the question so He can teach you something.
My Life Didn’t Turn Out The Way I Planned…
You see there is a lesson in everything. Even the worst circumstances. My circumstance is my life. I’m a minister, a life coach, a counselor, a mom, an author and many other titles… but I don’t like the way my life looks. Whew. I am free enough to say that and be okay. Sorry if that rubs you the wrong way.
This is a topic I feel very hesitant to share because in some pockets of the body of Christ we can’t really share this type of thing. There is no freedom to be this candid and open about ourselves. So, this is risky to say here. But true.
When I’m really honest, I don’t like the way my life looks. I wanted a different life, a different marriage, a different type of home life and ministry life. I didn’t picture being divorced and a single mom of two sons (now 23 and 17 yrs old). It wasn’t my intent to have to struggle for every single thing in what seems like every single way. It wasn’t my plan to be alone and living life this way going into the future alone and unknown. I didn’t plan on this level of stress.
I know, I know most of you are thinking girl you have Jesus get over it. You should be satisfied you have the Lord. Move on get remarried. Do this or that.
Real Life Is Hard
I get it, but we are about being candid here. What do you do when you just don’t like the way it’s all turning out? What if you can’t seem to just get past all the questions and still want answers to life’s hard places? When the boundaries of your life dictate certain things a certain way and you feel stuck? What if you are still in love with the best friend you married and yet he moved on? When you are in ministry but you need ministering to? What do you do?
I know the religious answer. I do. You do too. I know I am not the only one that struggles in this area. We go to church we put on our church face and all is well. Or so we want others to think. We dare not pull back the curtain to let anyone see our struggle. What would others think if they knew we had no real internal peace three days out of the week and at breakfast or dinner?
We go on because the pain is not enough to stop us from living life, but it is just enough to stop us from being satisfied. You know like after a really good meal. So, what do you do?
3 Things God Wants You To Know
Glad you asked. I sat there behind my desk and asked all these questions and more again to the Lord. I knew He already knew what I was wanting but it gave me some sense of therapy to talk to Him from my heart. I waited for some deep answer that maybe today I would move on internally in peace.
Finally, the answer and I want to give it to you. It shifted my whole being and gave me another level of comfort and direction. The answer was not so deep and profound as we think the Lord would give. Remember He is a carpenter and craftsman and builds things to perfection.
Upon sitting and journaling the answer to my internal questions of the heart He said, “I see you. I know you. Know me.”
I know you think what kind of answer is that. But, it worked for me. It was deep in my spirit the answer I was looking for. It was the way He spoke to me in that moment that it was okay. He was my friend. He was there in all my questions.
The Lord let me know something. The same ‘something’ I want you to know no matter what problems you have, no matter what pain you feel, no matter what you feel about your life status right at this moment. You need to know this…
1.) God Sees You
I was really asking by all questions in my heart Lord do you see me? Do you really see what I am going through? Do you really care about my situations more than in the generic Bible answer way? Lord, do you see through me and in me and around me? Do you see what I need and going through in a real way? He does. He sees you too. Nothing is out of His eye sight or vision. That seeing gave me great comfort and rest. It meant He is paying attention to me.
2.) God Knows You
Boy does He know me. He knows my motives my every thought and what I like down to the detail and color. God knows what I have true need of. He knows my need for love and desire for love. He knows my nights and days and moments and joys. And just as God knows me and He knows you. He knows what you love and hate and how you like things. He knows our very frame.
3.) God Wants To Be Known By You
No matter how much I wanted my answers from Him nothing was more important in the moment than He wants to be known. As much as I wanted Him to answer and fix stuff, His heart was — I want you to know Me. He wanted relationship. He wanted to make Himself known to me which, when I get that would answer all my questions. The Lord wants you to know His heart. In knowing that we will have true peace of heart.
Friend, all our answers are in Him. Not in what we think our life should be. I left my desk and I was content. I liked where I was at. It was okay to be in my skin, in the life I was in, the way it looked. I was free of needing the answers to this or that. He sees me. The wondering was over.
Join the Conversation
Where does this find you today? Do one of these truths stand out to you more than the others? Do you ever need to stop and remind yourself of these important things God wants you to know? Join the conversation in the comments below.3 Things God wants you to know, no matter what you are going through… Click To Tweet
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