So… my oldest son graduates from high school this month.
To be completely candid, I’m a mess.
They finally found something that is helping my migraines, (which is fantastic! – Yay, God!) However, we’ve realized that my head has been in so much pain over the past few years, I was completely numb to everything else.
So here I am, feeling all the feelings I haven’t been, attending scholarship ceremonies, the final state meet of… not just the year, but their lives. And I’m an emotional wreck.
Thus, for this week’s post, I wanted to share something a sweet friend sent me via email. She actually wrote it for her newsletter, but gave me permission to share here.
This was written by Pamela A. Taylor. She’s a life coach and was a single mom while she raised her two children to adulthood. She’s written multiple books and I’m super excited about her upcoming series. Let’s just say she knows her stuff (and is more collected than I am at the moment).It's graduation season… If you're the mom of a senior, this is for you. Click To Tweet
I learned a bit by going through these changes myself. Even though there will always be a bit of sadness because my kids are off on their own; and even though my friends later told me that they thought I would totally end up in a fetal position unable to cope with life when my kids left home…Yet, many years before that time came, God had given me a plan and I want to share that with you.
First, I have some questions for you. How are you doing? If the time is right now upon you…
- Are you either “stuffing” or just plain confused about what you feel as your child prepares to leave home?
- Are you beating yourself up for what you think you should feel and don’t? Exhausted?
- Are you on a roller coaster? Going from happiness. To sadness. To fear. To joy. All rolled up into one big mass of emotions?
You are not alone. In many homes across the country and beyond, this is a time of year that our mindset often needs an overhaul. Mindset shift coming right up…Hop on and let’s see if I can help!
Preparing for the Empty Nest
For those on the outside looking in, frightened you won’t be able to handle all these changes when it is your turn to face them, I have a bit of encouragement for you. You can begin now.
Today and then every day…
Parent with the end in mind. Spend your parenting life working yourself out of a job gradually. Little by little. And… prepare all of you for the inevitable separation ahead.
Think ahead, always with the mindset that it is a healthy, good and Godly thing for your children to be launched. (Whether it be their graduation & college, a job away from your “nest”, or their marriage. All is well!)
But it is up to you to train up the child in the way he/she should go. And to train with the end in mind.
I used to tell my kids that “God told me to train you in such a way that other people would respond favorably to you.” That’s why Scripture memory is important for their mindset to be God’s mindset when they launch. And, that’s why training in good manners & integrity is so important. (My latest book Jimmy Learns about Life was written to help with that). Don’t forget to prepare them in practical things like how to do laundry and scramble eggs for instance. And, to keep track of their own checkbook and health.
Now, If You are in the Midst of this Change Right Now…
You probably are feeling mixed emotions and beating yourself up for how you feel.
It is wisdom to admit to yourself and to your God exactly what you are really feeling. (Note: The man God called the “man after God’s own heart”—King David– in the Psalms did exactly that! He was honest with God about what He felt! We are wise to follow his example.)
2 Possible & Very Legitimate Reactions/Mixed Emotions
1. Yay ! ! !
– OR –
I feel like my life is over!
My main job of parenting is done!
Now what??? I have no purpose.
So, what if it is #2 ? What if You Have Not Prepared Your Heart for Your Children’s “Launch”?
It’s OK. God still has your back anyway!
Here are 4 Reminders to Get You Through This
- Take 3 deep deep breaths whenever you feel like you just can’t DO this!
- Remember…the Psalms can be very helpful in times of great pain or sorrow.
- “Act as if…” you have it all together. The FEELINGS will soon follow and you will be surprised at your coping ability!
- You and God CAN do this TOGETHER…Believe that! He is only a prayer away!
This Week’s Grace & Truth Feature
On that note, I (Heather) would like to leave you with this week’s Grace & Truth feature. It’s a post about when life is overwhelming by Debra Jean.Does your life feel a bit overwhelming? Click To Tweet
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