It Is Okay To Not Be Okay

January 16, 2017 |

The Christian life isn’t always an easy one. Today’s post was written by candid guest, Maretha Retief,
and she is sharing about why it’s okay to not be okay.

Christian Life: It's Okay to Not Be Okay

Have you found yourself in a space where it feels like you just never have the leniency to just be yourself?

Maybe your hair is not straight enough? Maybe you are not skinny enough? Maybe you do not act in the acceptable way or dress appropriately?

If so, do not feel alone.

Society is changing constantly and the expectations of perfection are rising by the day. The demands to be “perfect” has left me in a place where I have felt that who I am, in my barest form is just never enough. I have found that there is little space to be sad and disappointed and to just not be okay.

I am expected to always be strong; to have an answer for whatever I am facing and to not stumble at any curve ball life may throw at me. And yet there are times where I feel like I just want to run away, be sad, have a good cry and admit that I am not coping. This is not a card to have a self-pity party but to admit that I, in and of myself, cannot deal with everything, I need help.

There mere fact that I feel overwhelmed at times by life’s demands, does not mean that I have lost faith in Christ. He does not expect us to have and keep everything together as that is His role (Colossians 1:16-17). He does not only do so in the bigger scheme of things but even in the little things like the smallest details of our lives.

He did not die for us to pretend to be who we feel we should be but to be authentic in the uniqueness He intended for us.

It is okay to not be okay.

It is okay to be weak because then Christ’s strength can work through us (2 Corinthians 12:9). It is okay to not be like everyone else, to not look the same way, to not do the same things and to not go on about the same things. Not one of us is running the same race of faith. We are all doing our own according to God’s purpose for us.

When life gets hard, we may feel the pressure. Just because we are experiencing hard times do not make us any less of a Christian than when things are going well. In spite of the highest mountains we climb, the deepest valleys we have to walk through and the darkest alleys we find ourselves in, we can choose to remain true to the authentic lives God called us to and that may be different for each person.

Christ can use us in our weaknesses and “not so perfect” states. If we humbly approach Him and accept our shortcomings, He can use it for His good purpose (2 Corinthians 10:7). It is okay to not be okay, because our acceptance in Christ is not based on what the eye can see but who we are in Him, in spite of the challenges we face.

Be weak; be vulnerable so that the power and hope of Christ can be written through your testimony.

About the Author

Maretha RetiefMaretha Retief is a child of Daddy God, a wife to a loving husband and mommy of two blessings from God. Having been born with a disability she writes with a purpose to bring the hope of Christ in spite of circumstances.  She is the author of her book, Seasons with Christ:  My Journey from Different to Distinguished. 

You can connect with Maretha online in the following places:
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  • Reply Heather Hart January 16, 2017 at 7:48 am

    Thank you so much for being a guest on our blog today, Maretha! This is a reminder I need every day.
    Heather Hart recently posted…Introducing Candid Conversations

  • Reply Terri January 16, 2017 at 8:24 am

    Great post. It is okay to not be okay and not have it all together because we have Jesus who has it all together

    • Reply Maretha Retief January 17, 2017 at 5:34 am

      And isn’t that such a relief to know? Ot was a truth that helped me to stay in rest with Christ a lot more.

  • Reply Starla Jimenez January 16, 2017 at 10:56 am

    And nothing is of our own self, yet through Christ we are complete. Thanks for sharing.

  • Reply Andrea January 16, 2017 at 12:27 pm

    Everybody has an off day – and it’s okay if it happens – God has still got our backs!
    Andrea recently posted…Clean Your Home Today With $.25 Off From Mr. Clean!

  • Reply Lauren C. Moye January 16, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    “Be weak; be vulnerable so that the power and hope of Christ can be written through your testimony.”

    Such a deep statement! Maretha, I enjoyed your post immensely. Thank you for sharing!
    Lauren C. Moye recently posted…Learning the Blessed Faith of a Mother Through Mary

    • Reply Maretha Retief January 17, 2017 at 12:58 pm

      Thanks Lauren. And that is how God turns our ashes into something beautiful.

  • Reply Leslie January 16, 2017 at 8:41 pm

    This is something we ALL need to be reminded of. Thank you!
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  • Reply Marie January 16, 2017 at 9:04 pm

    I tell this to ladies all the time. Especially those feeling the weight of unbelievable guilt from missing a loved one that has graduated on to heaven.

    It is absolutely ok to not be ok. Never let anyone make you feel guilty for this piece of your journey.
    Marie recently posted…Volunteers Needed

    • Reply Maretha Retief January 17, 2017 at 1:02 pm

      Amen. There is just so much comfort in the hope we have in Christ, no matter how dark our circumstances get or how weak we may feel.

  • Reply Amy Hagerup January 17, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    Thanks for all of this, Maretha. What a pretty name you have. I would love to hear the story behind it.
    Amy Hagerup recently posted…5 Network Marketing Lessons Learned from Track Meets

    • Reply Maretha Retief January 19, 2017 at 1:07 pm

      Hi Amy, thank you! My name is only a shortened version of my late grandmother, whose name was Margaretha. She was a special lady and walked closely with God. 🙂

  • Reply Tara January 17, 2017 at 11:04 pm

    I love the idea that we don’t have to be strong because God is our strength.
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  • Reply Jasmine A January 18, 2017 at 10:02 am

    This is really good, it’s so hard to be vulnerable especially if you are a recovering people pleaser!

    • Reply Maretha Retief January 19, 2017 at 1:10 pm

      Hi Jasmine, I think one of the greatest skill we can master with God’s help is to be vulnerable in His eyes and let Him be bold through us. That way He alone can help us to not bow to please people all the time. A daily challenge I have faced for quite a long time. Thank you for being so sincere.

  • Reply Karen Woodall January 20, 2017 at 1:05 pm

    The church is a place that has often become a place to hide and pretend that we are OK and have everything together, but that isn’t what Christ intended. He intended for us to be real and to be a safe haven for those who hurt. There is fault on both sides. We need to be willing to speak when we are not “ok” but also be willing to accept those who arent. Thanks for this post!

  • Reply Krystal Sadler January 20, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    What a beautiful post! I was literally talking with a friend today about this very same thing. I will be sharing this with her. Thank you for your candid message!!

  • Reply The Breaking Point: When You're Not As Okay As You Say You Are November 8, 2018 at 6:00 am

    […] It’s okay to not be okay. When we trust and rely on God and His mighty power, He can lift us up out of despair and give us the strength to keep going. One step at a time. One day at a time. […]

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