Last year, I was driving a couple of neighbor kids to school and had an eye-opening experience.
The first day, while I was scowling and muttering unkind things in the direction of the car in front of me, they commented that they had never seen me mad before. Their comment stung my heart and I tried to cover it up. I wasn’t mad, just a little frustrated with the other drivers.
(For the record, rush hour traffic jams in Denver, Colorado where we used to live have nothing on the school zone traffic in this small Texas town.)
The next day went even worse.
While I was explaining to the car in front of me (that couldn’t hear a word I was saying) that backing up wasn’t an option at this point, the kids all wanted to know all the juicy details. I had visions of them running home to tell their momma just what kind of a driver she had entrusted her precious kiddos with. Unfortunately, the driver of the other vehicle was unaware of my dilemma and angrily peeled away, adding more fuel to the flame of embarrassment that was growing within me.
Road Rage Reflections
After safely delivering the kids to school, I realized what a failure I was.
And worse, how used to it my kids were. Someone once told me that you can tell the most about a person by how they act when they don’t think anyone is watching. I think there is a lot of truth to that.
Have you ever noticed that our kids see the real us? It doesn’t matter what we say, they watch what we do. They see the good, the bad, and the ugly. They see what’s real. They evaluate our priorities, and judge our motives.
A couple years back I had noticed that every time I asked my kids to start cleaning up, they would respond by wanting to know who was coming over. They had deduced that we only clean to impress others. I learned a lot about myself from that, and we have since changed things up. I want to instill that we don’t have to clean ourselves up for others.
Our kids take all the information they get from us and apply it to their lives in one way or another. They don’t just take our words, our pretty facades, or the front we try to portray. They take in all of that, and weigh it against the real us. The us we are when we think no one is looking. The us underneath it all. And then, heaven help us, they become mini reflections of all of it.
Pointing To Jesus
Thankfully, we can use each and every failure to point them back to Jesus.
We will never be perfect. But we know the One who is. We will always fail, but God is full of grace and forgiveness.
My hope is that while my kids know I am a total mess, they also know I love Jesus with all that I have in me.
I hope that they know He is real and that He loves them even more than I do.
Because when all is said and done, that’s what really matters.
Bad habits may be hard to break, but with God’s help they can get through anything.
When all is said and done, it’s all about Jesus.
Join The Conversation
Do you struggle with road rage or have any other habits you know your kids are used to? How do you use your weaknesses to point your kids to Jesus? Or is this an area where you struggle? We would love to hear from you in the comments below.
If you liked this blog post, you’ll love Heather’s new book, Candid Conversations. While each story shares a unique perspective, the prevailing theme is that we all struggle, but there is hope to be found in Jesus. Get your copy from Amazon or click here to learn more.
Heather Hart is an internationally best-selling and award-winning author with an unquenchable passion for Jesus. Life with four fun-filled teens doesn’t always provide the quiet atmosphere her introverted personality and chronic migraines crave, but she loves them all like crazy and the gospel is a balm for her soul. Heather’s hope is that, while she is struggling through this thing called life, she is pointing others towards Jesus along the way.
- Heather Harthttps://candidlychristian.com/author/harter/
- Heather Harthttps://candidlychristian.com/author/harter/
- Heather Harthttps://candidlychristian.com/author/harter/
- Heather Harthttps://candidlychristian.com/author/harter/
36 Comments
I get a chuckle out of my grandkids’ reaction to my advice for other drivers. You’re right. They are always listening. Always learning. Whether we intend to teach or not. Thanks and God bless!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who talks to other drivers. My kids give me the weirdest looks and my teen is always reminding me that they can’t hear me…
Heather Hart recently posted…You Are Not Alone… We All Struggle With Something
Children are watching us, hearing what we say and absorbing our actions. Whether those children are our own or not, we are constantly being watched. What a great opportunity to show His love in all we say and do. 🙂
Yes! It’s a great opportunity, but with every opportunity comes great responisibility. Thankfully, God offers great grace as well.
Heather Hart recently posted…My Overwhelming Fear of Failure & Jesus
Dear Heather!
I believe what you said in this blog post about seeing the true nature of people if we can observe them in moments where they don’t know they’re being observed. What I love about children is that they haven’t developed all those annoying politeness filters which make most conversations superficial and without value.
I don’t know if I love Jesus always, but I’m sure He loves me, regardless of what I think or feel 🙂
I do not struggle with road rage. First off, we have very few roads here where I live in Greenland. Secondly, I drive a scooter, which puts me in a position where road rage is not allowed 🙂
With love!
Edna Davidsen
Thanks for stopping in, Edna. Children are definitly in a unique position to let us know about our flaws, aren’t they? So thankful Jesus loves us no matter what.
Heather Hart recently posted…My Overwhelming Fear of Failure & Jesus
Very candid. Thanks for sharing this with us. I think the biggest habit my kids think is normal is zoning out on my phone. I’m so involved in social media that it takes a lot of my mind share and attention. I have to be deliberate about getting stuff done then being present with them.
Your words – our kids see the real us. That’s a painful truth but full of Hope. I pray that my kids see that I’m flawed but in process.
Yes! That is so tempting! So thankful Jesus isn’t finished with us yet.
Heather Hart recently posted…My Overwhelming Fear of Failure & Jesus
Amen! In the end it’s all about Jesus. Thanks so much for this reminder, Heather. We cannot be too careful when there are little eyes around. We never know how far reaching our influence could be. Blessings to you.
Boma recently posted…Ode to the WriteLife
Thanks, Boma! To God be the glory.
Heather Hart recently posted…The Truth About My Life – Online & Off
So true. Your story made me think of the times our doorbell would ring and our youngest would yell “Pizzas here”. I realized how lazy I had become in fixing proper meals for my family. Our children can teach us so much about our own behaviors.
Yvonne recently posted…A Day of Golf Fundraising Event
Oh, Yvonne! I love that. I’ll admit, it made me giggle, I can just picture my kids doing something like that if we still lived in the city. It’s probably a good thing we live in a small town that doesn’t have any restraunts that deliver.
Heather Hart recently posted…You Are Not Alone… We All Struggle With Something
Such a true and humbling experience. I pick my grandson up from school and often find myself muttering unkind things about other drivers. I keep trying to remember he needs to see Jesus in me, so often, I’ll try to engage him in conversation about his school day, so that I am not focusing as much on what other drivers are doing…other than to drive carefully and pay attention to others around me. It not only keeps me from getting upset by other drivers, but lets him know Grandma loves him and wants to be involved and interested in his life. Great post!
Sadly with the traffic at our elementary school I needed to focus on the traffic around me. It was that bad. Thankfully all my kids are at the middle and high schools this year and the school zones there are better (not great, but better), I am much more relaxed and can actually talk and laugh with the kids as I drop them off. I leave them with a smile.
Heather Hart recently posted…My Overwhelming Fear of Failure & Jesus
Oh Heather… girl, if you are a “failure” than I am a train wreck! Trust me, I have done what you’ve done and worse. Yes, this is the “candid” Christian blog, so I am just going along with the theme! Ha ha ha… but yeah, even when we blow it, we can pray and ask God to help us get better the next time. He does, thankfully!
Lisa Quintana recently posted…“Get Rid of Religion!”
Yes and amen! So thankful for God’s grace!
Heather Hart recently posted…You Are Not Alone… We All Struggle With Something
Heather, all of us relate to your sentiments. Those closest to us like our spouse and our kids do see the real imperfect us. But I love how you make it a teaching time to point kids back to Jesus.
Love this, “Our kids see the real us – the good, the bad, & the ugly. The evaluate our priorities & judge our motives…” Kids need to see the real us, not the person we pretend to be…then the life lessons and Jesus lessons are all the more powerful.
Yes! I think being vulnerable is a great way to point others to Jesus – it’s not always easy, but it is always worth it.
Heather Hart recently posted…The Truth About My Life – Online & Off
I can, unfortunately, relate to the part about the kids asking who is coming over when they have to clean up. Thank you for the reminder that, even in our failures, we can still point them to Jesus.
God is so good. I don’t know what I would do without Jesus. Because try harder and do better would crush me. I am so thankful for His grace.
Heather Hart recently posted…To The Worn Out Momma: Mom Guilt & Jesus
I began seeing this in myself a few years ago. I would speak to the aggravation of other drivers when things weren’t going my way. So we became very intentional about always playing Christian Music (To remind me to act like Jesus) and we began praying over every Emergency Vehicle we passed.
tiffany Montgomery recently posted…How to Pray Powerful Effective Prayers over My Own Life
Sadly, I was griping at the other drivers with Christian music playing… because that’s all we listen to… Thankfully, God loves me anyways.
Heather Hart recently posted…To The Worn Out Momma: Mom Guilt & Jesus
God has used my kids to convict me so. many. times. It’s embarrassing but sure is needed!
KellyRBaker recently posted…A Dangerous Mistake That Will Make You Miss God’s Voice
Yes! Our kids definitly help us grow.
Heather Hart recently posted…To The Worn Out Momma: Mom Guilt & Jesus
I say “ crap” and “what the heck” a lot. My husband hates it because son repeats it. Eeek. That’s not the worst thing he picked up (not from us thankfully)… but he knows Jesus is the answer. Phew.
Kids pick up all kinds of bad habits. Some from us, some from their friends. It’s a constant battle. But if they know Jesus is the answer, then the most important battle is already won.
Heather Hart recently posted…To The Worn Out Momma: Mom Guilt & Jesus
My kids have asked the same question when told to clean something up! Great post!
Thanks, Charlie!
Heather Hart recently posted…It’s Okay To Be Mary In A World Full Of Martha’s
What a sobering reminder we are always sending a message about who Jesus is as believers. Great post! Thank you.
Thanks, Rosemarie!
Heather Hart recently posted…My Overwhelming Fear of Failure & Jesus
I love that you said our failures are an opportunity to point our kids back to Jesus. I think they are an opportunity to point anyone back to Jesus and a great way to show people that no, we’re not perfect at all. And thank God we don’t have to be! Wonderful reflection. Thanks for sharing!
Isabel @ Family Life Blog recently posted…This Homemade Baby Food Cookbook Simplifies Feeding Your Baby
Amen! So thankful we don’t have to be perfect.
Heather Hart recently posted…My Overwhelming Fear of Failure & Jesus
Kids are great mirrors aren’t they? It’s amazing how we grow almost as much as they do, when we become parents.
Right?! They teach us so much and probably never even realize it.
Heather Hart recently posted…To The Worn Out Momma: Mom Guilt & Jesus
I have horrible road rage and I feel like god d is disappointed with me for loosing my cool. I don’t even know it’s happening. I feel so guilty that I let someone else disturb my inner peace.
But even when we fail, God’s love for us remains unchanged. That’s why He sent Jesus. He knew we would never be perfect. Let that truth wash over you today, Rachel. We are all sinners in need of a Savior, and God’s grace has us covered.
Heather Hart recently posted…When My Mama Bear Instincts & Faith Collide
Remember: From our side of the computer screen, we can’t see your tears. We can’t see your beautiful smile. We can’t hear the emotion behind your words or the tone of your voice. All we get are your words. Write them with love.