3 Keys to Survival When You’re Running on Empty

June 19, 2017 |

We need a lot of things in this life. That is not a secret. Let’s be honest. We have needs. Personally, I think women have more needs than men. LOL, but that is for another discussion.

However, not every need will be met. And because of that, we don’t always understand why. A lot of people pull on us as women to meet their needs and we get plain ole empty.  We are mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, wives, etc. and we get pulled on by all those people in our lives. Sometimes all at once. Or at least it feels that way.

What is a need anyway? Well, Webster’s dictionary says that the meaning of need is:

To require (something) because it is essential or very important.

Wow! A need is something essential or very important. Hmm. Now, I would add that sometimes a need is something you need to survive. To be healthy. To function.

Do you feel you need certain things to function, to survive? I bet you don’t get it when you want it all the time. Or on time. I think we especially feel this way when we are in crisis or when we are in emotional pain. This is easy for women to slip into. We give out a lot and we need what we gave out to come back.

But, what do you do when you have given all you can and your giver done gave out. Empty. Nothing.  The barrel is dry and not a drop to be found.

What do you do when all the people around you need something from you and they depend on you? Have you been there lately, where it seems one crisis after another and you want to run and hide from life. Who do you run to when you are the one every one else is running to?

Then what?

Well, here are three things you can do. Probably three things you must do to survive.

3 Keys to Survival When You’re Running on Empty

1.) Run to Jesus

You must run to Christ. He is the sustainer of all things. When you are empty and have spent all you have emotionally on something, you run to Him. Go lay your burdens all of them at His feet. Let go of what you cannot do. Do only what you can do.

There is no shame in that. There are seasons in our lives when we just can’t do it all and be all for everyone. But who said we had to anyway?

2.) Give & Accept Grace

Stop taking the blame for what is not your fault. Why do I say this? Because, we as women tend to take on everything that is not even our fault. You need to only own what it yours. If you failed at something, own that and no more. Don’t live in a false sense of blame over things that you could not help.

Learn to live guilt free. Try and say that to yourself. You can you know. It is okay. I will give you an example. If you have a kid that you have tried and tried to work with. Love. Support. Give your motherly advice and they do not listen. Let that go. You cannot make a person hear you. Let that go and pray for that child. Trust God with that child and love them. Do what you can do but stop blaming yourself because they or others do not listen to you.

Let people be free to make their own choices and you move on with that.

3. Love Yourself

Do you love you? Heck, do you even like you? Do loving things for yourself and do not dare feel guilty about it. Far too many women don’t pamper themselves. It is okay to once and a while indulge in something just for you.

Life will go on. Children will eat. They will still love you. The world won’t end if you treat you for a change with love and respect.

We as women tend to put ourselves last a lot. That has got to stop. We work hard too and we deserve to enjoy life without the guilt.

We know that we as women sacrifice a lot at times. But in the midst of that sacrificing we forget about us. We forget that we have needs to and we empty out to others and keep running on empty.

Give Yourself a Break

I consider all these things needs. We need them to function. I know I do. I bet you do too. It’s okay to give yourself a break.

Don’t go overboard but think about what you need. What is that? Why are you not meeting that need? Go ahead today and do something for you. Do it without guilt and shame.

Life is waiting on you!

What can you do today for you?

Check Out Stephanie’s Newest Book

Quiet Conversations by Stephanie CarterQuiet Conversations: Hearing the Voice of God Daily is a great book to help you “see” how the Holy Spirit talked to His daughter, Stephanie in her quiet place. It will inspire you to trust that He can and does talk to you also. You will hear the intimacy of His voice and a sense of His presence. Stephanie Carter, ordained minister and teacher, takes you into the secret place of some of her more intimate conversations with Him. She shows you what it is like to have very natural conversations with a very real God, that reveal some very important truths He has for His children. The author shows you how to get alone, in secret, and wait for Him to speak to you. The truths shared in this book will help you desire and develop a hearing ear to His voice alone.

Quiet Conversations: Hearing the Voice of God Daily is not based on theory but on actual conversations the author had with Holy Spirit. This book will encourage and inspire you to grow in a personal relationship with the most important Person you could ever know.

Now available on Amazon

Stephanie Carter is an author, Bible teacher, a certified forgiveness coach with Forgiving Forward ministries, and the mom of two sons. She is a passionate lover of Jesus Christ. She has her Doctorate in Theology and resides in the Atlanta,Georgia area. Her purpose in life is to instill discipline, integrity,and uncompromising spirit within women in their covenant marriages and lives.

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  • Reply Heather Hart June 19, 2017 at 10:05 am

    Congratulations on your new book, Stephanie! And I love your three points. When I get so busy I don’t feel like I have time for Jesus, I’ve found that that is when I need the most time with Him.
    Heather Hart recently posted…Summer Schedules & Jesus

    • Reply Stephanie Carter June 19, 2017 at 8:09 pm

      Yes. We easily get busy more than we know.

    • Reply Lo @ Mrs. Lo Tanner June 22, 2017 at 11:47 am

      Yup, I totally agree! When I get so busy I don’t feel like I have time for Jesus I know I need to cut a few things and make some room. I should always have time to spend with Him.
      Lo @ Mrs. Lo Tanner recently posted…The 5 Love Languages of Children

  • Reply Andrea June 19, 2017 at 11:33 am

    Jesus wants us to come to Him for everything – and He is always there!

  • Reply Sheila Qualls June 19, 2017 at 12:14 pm

    “Stop taking the blame for what is not your fault. ” Amen, Sister! As women, we are so guilty of this. We tend to take on everyone else’s stuff–our kids’, our family’s, our friend’s. It is burdensome. If you don’t take anything more away from this article than this, you’ll be a big winner. We can’t control other people’s choices. I think I am most guilty of this with my kids. Anyone else?
    Sheila Qualls recently posted…How to Write a Heartfelt Father’s Day Letter He’ll Never Forget

  • Reply Heather June 19, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    Very good advice that we as women have such difficulty listening to lol! This is all makes so much sense, but I still find it hard to actually follow through with. Running to Jesus is the easiest one of these things to do for myself, I do need to work on the other two though!

    • Reply Stephanie Carter June 21, 2017 at 9:39 am

      Just take it one day at a time that is all… no more no less…when you fall get back up.

  • Reply Jennifer DeFrates/Heaven Not Harvard June 19, 2017 at 11:40 pm

    These are great tips. Whenever I feel like I have nothing left, I always start by prayer. God, give me five more minutes to finish the last things that need to be done. Somehow, I’ve never run out of steam.
    Jennifer DeFrates/Heaven Not Harvard recently posted…Beating Body Image Issues: Compared to Who?

    • Reply Stephanie Carter June 21, 2017 at 9:40 am

      Love it…. He is all we have… we go to Him on empty or full… He is faithful.

  • Reply SHEILA RHODES June 20, 2017 at 12:49 pm

    Oh how fitting of a topic for me! I am in the midst of writing about this myself! Recently, I had something exposed within my heart that God is healing and this hits the nail on the head. Quit taking the blame! All of your points are dead on and we do need to give ourselves a break. The enemy loves nothing more than when we deplete our well of “Living Water”. Congrats on your new book and blessings to you!
    SHEILA RHODES recently posted…A Love Letter to My Dad on Father’s Day

  • Reply Stephanie Carter June 21, 2017 at 9:41 am

    Thank you for your comment yesssssss we do need to quit taking the blame.. .we do this so easily as women and we need to let our self off the hook and have a do nothing I don’t care attitude about some things and keep it moving… life is too short.

  • Reply Andrea June 21, 2017 at 11:22 am

    We can’t always run on the past – but to run to God every time!

  • Reply Amanda | Maple Alps June 21, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    Absolutely! These are totally true. Running on empty? Run to Jesus!

  • Reply Penny June 21, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    I find I feel guilty a lot of the time, often for no reason at all. The voice of the accuser can be so strong. Jesus is the only answer. Thank you for sharing

  • Reply C Nelson June 21, 2017 at 8:48 pm

    I loeved the article especially the part about loving yourself and give yourself a break. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  • Reply Leslie June 22, 2017 at 7:32 am

    Stephanie, Thank you for this encouraging post! Your three things to do are so needed when we run on empty. #2 has some really good insights. Letting go of guilt after we have done all that we can is an important key to not running on empty. Thank you for that!
    Leslie recently posted…A Grace that Sees

  • Reply Caroline Harries June 22, 2017 at 8:31 am

    Grace! Grace makes such a difference 🙂 I think we could all extend a little more to ourselves and others
    Caroline Harries recently posted…Cheering On The People Who Pass You

  • Reply Hope N. Griffin June 22, 2017 at 8:37 am

    Guilt that I am not enough for my kids is something I struggle with. I believe dads do too, they just might express it differently than their partner.
    Hope N. Griffin recently posted…Standing with the Oppressed

  • Reply Amy Christensen June 22, 2017 at 9:31 am

    Such a great post, Stephanie. We as women all need to be reminded that Jesus can fill all our needs, we don’t have to live with guilt and we all need to take care of ourselves. If we don’t do these things, then eventually we won’t be able to meet the needs of those around us either. Thanks for the encouragement.

  • Reply Marva | SunSparkleShine June 22, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    It’s so easy to keep going and going. Often I don’t realise my need to slow down until I’ve crashed and this is something I’m definitely working on. Thanks for the tips — they’re convicting and encouraging at the same time!
    I’m sharing this with other women to inspire them as well.
    Marva | SunSparkleShine recently posted…The Best Way to Unlock Your Friendship Goals

  • Reply Stephanie Carter June 22, 2017 at 9:06 pm

    thank you so much yes we do go and go and never stop sometimes until we are burnt out thank you for sharing

  • Reply Rosanna@ExtraordinaryEverydayMom June 23, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    What a great post! I recently posted on three ways I practice self-care every day and it has a similar tone. My favorite quote from your article is this: “Stop taking the blame for what is not your fault. Why do I say this? Because, we as women tend to take on everything that is not even our fault. You need to only own what it yours. If you failed at something, own that and no more. Don’t live in a false sense of blame over things that you could not help.” And the point that we must give and receive grace is such truth. I spent years of my life, giving everyone else grace except myself. I still have to work at not beating myself up when I make mistakes, but God is really changing me in this area and I’m learning how important it truly is. Blessings on your day!
    Rosanna@ExtraordinaryEverydayMom recently posted…3 Ways I Practice Self-Care Everyday

  • Reply Christa June 26, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    Oh yea, I needed this today. I need to run to Jesus and lay all the things I THINK I need to do at His feet and only pick it back up when He says to. Thanks for this challenging word!
    Christa recently posted…Simple Steps to Building Community

  • Reply Jeanne Takenaka June 27, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    Stephanie, these are good words. I think the hardest thing to do is to give myself what I need. Often that is time to just do what I want/need to do without feeling guilty for taking that time. Pampering doesn’t come often, but when I can have time with friends or time just for me? That’s it’s own kind of pampering. 🙂

    Great suggestions here!

    I’m your neighbor at Arabah Joy’s place. 🙂 It’s nice to “meet” you!

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